I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
