My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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