Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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