I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
