how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
