hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
