so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
