I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
