Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
