My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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