is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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