I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
