im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
