Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
