PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
