drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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