Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I party with great urgency now.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
