It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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