is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
