C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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