Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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