What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
