he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Randomize
