So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
