so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
