Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
