my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
