so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
