Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
