but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
