you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
