I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Randomize
