How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
3pm strippers are depressing
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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