Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
