wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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