My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
