she was so not down for the gang bang
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
