What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Randomize
