Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
