I feel like I'm in dance class right now
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
