My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
