We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
kristin has been a bad kristin
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Randomize
