his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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