Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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