if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
