Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
