we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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