she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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