He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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