its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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