dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
